Yaadein!

There were days in my life when everything was so smooth and fine that I couldn’t imagine any better way of it. Everything was just perfect and so was I. There was no pressure from any side; neither any higher expectation nor any definite aim. I was enjoying life at its fullest. I was so much involved in it that i wanted it to go that only way. I had friends; some good and some special ones.  So special that i was ready to do anything just for the sake of their happiness. 

Besides destiny has planned some other things for me! :/
Gradually time passed, circumstances changed. Apparently I changed; so does people. I am a totally different person now. Priorities overcame my happiness. I have so many things to do now. I have ambition, parental expectation and some dreams of myself too. There is peer pressure to attain the highest level in different fields. So many other plans. No time for those old feelings; No time for my life even. I have lost my life completely. And meanwhile lost myself too. Thing were perfect back then.  I don’t have those old people in my life anymore. I am surrounded by such mean and selfish people who just want to use me as a stair to climb upon my head. The old me is not at all alive.
I tried to refuse these changing phases, but I just couldn’t. I had to accept that “Things can’t remain the same always.”
Hoping that one day these feelings would naturally disperse!

Some lines dedicated to that old life which i never gonna live again. 

Ye chadani raat jaane kya batlati hai,

Kuch batein yaad dilati hai.

Wo beete hue din,

Wo guzre hue pal,

Wo suhani ratein fir yaad aati hai,

Kuch batein yaad dilati hai.

Wo saath guzara hua har ek lamha,

Fir saamne aa jata hai.

Tumhare sparsh ka ehsas; 

Ye  mand hawa mujhe choo kar karati hai.
Ye chandni raat jaane kya batlati hai,
Kuch batein yaad dilati hai.
Tumhari surmai muskurahat pe chahakte panchi,
Wo bemani batein aur suhane sapne,
Sab fir yaad aate hai.

Kuch batein yaad dilati hai.

Wo bheegti palkein fir yaad aati hai,

Wo masoom ratein,
Wo uljhi batein,
Wo chahakti sham,
Fir yaad aa jaati hai,
Kuch batein yaad dilati hai.

Uljha kar mujhe aaj bhi,
Wahi kuch batein rakh jati hai.

Jinhe bhool jana chahta hu ab,

Ab to wo batein hi naa rahi.

Aur naa rahi wo mulakatein.

Ye chandni raat jane kya batlati hai

Kuch batein yaad dilati hai!!

Seized Moment

 I am so much excited today. This supreme excitement is killing me now. I never felt the way I am feeling. This is the severe happiness I needed in my hopelessly disturbed life. All I can see is this love everywhere. Winds changing their way, birds chirping, weather changing; Love Love everywhere. Life on its right track. This is the day I was so eagerly waiting for. This is the way I wanted my life to go. Yes, I am turning crazy. She is coming, today. Perhaps this is not the first time we are meeting but this day is special. Special; in its own way. I have this urge to meet her and I will tell her everything. Right from the beginning of this thing to what I am today. My day of confrontation with my feelings. Despite of what she feels; I will pour my whole world in front of her. I love her; more than anything in this entire universe. I can’t go a day without talking to her. She occupies such a prominent place in my life. Whenever something great happens, I can’t wait to tell her. In my little world she is all I have on the name of love and life. In the moments of disappointments, she is the person I look up for hope. Ever since I first met her, she defines my life. No matter how worse situation may get, I promise to be with her through thick and thin.

This is the millionth time I have checked myself. I want everything to be perfect. I reached my destination earlier than time. Now I am here waiting for the moment tirelessly. I don’t  want to commit any mistake at this level. Even though I am a hell lot nervous at the moment. Somehow I gathered the courage to pretend normal. Repeating the things I want to tell her. Apparently, lot of thoughts roaming in my mind. Some thoughts let me towards the worse possibilities of this meeting but I don’t care. I cannot prevent those baseless thoughts from crowding my mind. I don’t give a damn to these thoughts. All I have to do is to make my day wonderful; perhaps the most memorable day of my life.

And here she comes. Whole atmosphere gladden with her arrival. She looks ravishing in her pinkish white dress. I fell in love all over again. She looks more charming than she ever does. More lovely; cuter; Simply adorable. She was glowing like a fairy of that wonderland. I want to tell her everything at this very moment but I just couldn’t. She looks like princess; resembles my dream girl; my soul-mate. She starts walking towards me with her steady steps. Approaching me with something in her hand. That charm in her eyes is the conviction that she feels for me. I feel so fortunate to have her. God knows what is gonna happen today. I am a hell lot nervous. The adrenaline rush, the accelerated heartbeat, the senseless blushing. Dumbstruck staring her. I am totally numb. I want to capture this moment in my memories. I just can’t believe, is this all real? I feel frozen. I am gonna die very soon.  She is just a few steps away. Please save me almighty.

What is this sudden screeching sound. Aaah my ear is paining. And where the hell does this water came from. Its mom here; she woke me up. She brings me back to the reality and dream ended. Everything changed eventually. Hope faded, Moment seized. I am in the reality again. My old normal life. Another wish left unfulfilled. Unlucky me. :(